Mr Ravi had his first desire of the day right after he woke up in the morning. He felt like having morning tea. He did not ask himself why he was having this desire; he never did so. He was not that kind of an introspective person. What came to mind, mostly he followed them. Further, even if he asked himself he was not able to find out the reason for the desire for a morning tea; maybe, there was no satisfactory answer. Anyway, he unknowingly continued to nurture this desire every morning.
While making the tea he wanted to boil the tea powder in milk; the tea after ‘cooking’ the powder in milk had a special taste; that was Ravi’s preference. After making the tea he added sugar to it and that was the time when the desire appeared again. He was not strong enough to resist them, but now-a-days his fear about being a diabetic patient made him stronger to prevent that desire. Ravi added only one teaspoon of sugar to his tea.
When Ravi was enjoying that hot morning tea sip by sip, he could hear the fresh chirps of morning birds; he and Padma used to sit like this for long. During his conversation with Padma, Ravi used to share the long list of his dreams to her; a bigger house, more expensive car, to buy some most valuable ornaments for himself and to her, to donate money for the temple construction so that his name will be carved there forever etc. etc. They were the desires he could share with Padma. He had some other desires which he could not share with her, like he wanted to meet his teenage love once again. He recently discovered that she, now a widow, is staying in a nearby city. He didn’t dare enough to reveal this desire to Padma because he had already blocked her from interacting with her male colleagues after office hours. Why should she talk to them after the office-time? There might be a possibility of a secret relationship in it. Ravi was not a fool; he was the last person to allow such things in his family. In this circumstance, Ravi suspected that Padma might react in the same manner if he revealed his secret longing for visiting his teenage love. He even concealed his desire to have a second bottle of beer, partly because fearing Padma’s silent instruction and partly to avoid the ugly look with a ‘big belly’. But Padma did not have any of these worries; she always seemed very calm. Ravi had wondered at times whether she had any desire at all. She had never expressed anything; she was always content in following his rules and instructions without any complaint. Was she keeping all her desires silently inside her? Many times Ravi wished he had a wife with much more desires and passions; he dreamt of a burning lady beside him. Ravi sighed deeply after the last sip of his morning tea. He felt a deep pain of unsatisfied desires inside his chest.
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In the case of Mr Ravi, the connection between psychological pain and desires should not be left unnoticed. The present desires form from the habits which are created by repeated involvement in certain activities.
Previous actions and experiences turn into sleeping tendencies.
Sleeping tendencies wake up and arise in suitable situations.
Active tendencies appear as desires.
Desires are the reason for psychological pain.
Mr Ravi is having this psychological pain due to his unrestricted flow of unjust desires. He is a gentleman in the eyes of the society because he is not a fool to express all his desires in public; naturally he could not satisfy his unquenchable desires as well. Needless to say that he couldn’t manage to wipe them out for a clear and peaceful mind. Therefore, he was eternally sad and in pain.
I wish Mr Ravi could look into his own thought process, edit them along with the desires and be content while enjoying that beautifully made morning tea which was made as he wanted to make it.