Togetherness - For Self Purification
The purpose of marriage is to experience the joy of true friendship, companionship and togetherness; and not just the enjoyment of sexual pleasures. It is true that individuals of the opposite sex are usually getting married. But, weddings between similar sex also happen in some places. And, after marriage, generally people expect children to be born from the relationship of married couples. Therefore, there can be a misunderstanding about the purpose of marriage. Definitely sexual satisfaction cannot be the purpose of a marriage relationship.
This is because none can be satisfied with the indulgence of sexual pleasures. Sexual satisfaction is nothing but a fantasy. It is an imagination that someone else can make one sexually satisfied. By the indulgence of pleasures the desire for the repeated experience of it will grow stronger; there will not be a perfect satisfaction out of it, at all.
सहधर्मं कुर्यताम्। (sahadharmam kuryatām - let’s do Dharma together with the same intention.) This is the vow taken by the couple during the time of wedding. When the need arises, one needs to be involved in all kinds of pleasures; but doing it with self-restriction, is the most important Dharma. This is the true joy of life. Experience of this real joy in order to remain peaceful and content, is the purpose of marriage.
Mahatma Gandhi says about marriage: “Rightly speaking, the true purpose of marriage should be and is intimate friendship and companionship between man and woman. There is no room for sexual satisfaction in it.” (Harijan journal, dated 19-05-1946. Page 133.) Mahatma continues: “That marriage is no marriage which takes place for the satisfaction of the sex desire. That satisfaction is a denial of true friendship.” (Ibid.)
How can one expect to satisfy another one with something which can never be “quenched”? It is a common experience that sexual desire can never be completely satisfied. The more you taste it the more desire for it grows. Therefore, sexual desire cannot be satisfied through indulging in sexual pleasures. Even in the most beautiful communion in a marriage, satisfaction through sexual plays cannot be expected. A temporary satisfaction may be experienced because of the touching based soothing of the physiological impulses; but more severe longing for further indulgence is awaiting to re-appear to destroy the short living sandcastle of peace.
The peace and happiness in a marriage relationship is not through the search for increased sensual pleasures; but it is through discovering the real joy in mutual friendship and togetherness; through experiencing the happiness in sharing the domestic and social activities with pure and cooperative mentality.
Sexual experience is also a part of true friendship and sharing; but one must overcome the desires of it through internal awareness and understanding about the nature of sexuality. One needs to restrict oneself from crazy sexual fantasies, through self-awareness and self-control. Then, the long lasting joy of true friendship and togetherness appears. When the Sun rises and His true light spreads, artificial lights are not needed to brighten the room. A good companionship in marriage will help one to learn this lesson and to transform oneself with the help of mutual understanding and togetherness.