Monday,
08th January 2018
Love is the basic motivating force in
life. Everybody wants to love as well as to be loved. Wide range of emotions
and states of mind are included in the word ‘Love’. It is fundamentally the
attraction of the mind towards somebody or something. The attraction has
endless variations of sequences in life.
In most of the situations, the reason
for the attraction of the mind is the interest in certain aspects in the person
or the object. It can be a behavior, utility or a purpose. Relationships in
life are appeared for certain purposes. What is the purpose of this relationship?
This should be there among your thoughts always. The purpose can be for the benefit
of oneself or the other person. Still the purpose should be clear. That will
make the relationship meaningful. The love or attraction is for the purpose.
You like the shopkeeper for his good service. Your relationship with your
barber is due to his perfect job. Inside family, the purpose of relationship is
mutual benefit. The relationship between friends is also usually for mutual
purposes; but there are many friendships for one sided intention. If both the
persons in that relationship, agree with this one sided purpose, such a relationship
of friendship will go smoothly. Your relationship with the bank is different.
Even though it varies from time to time, mostly it is for your own benefit. You
cannot exist in the world without connections and relationships. The interests
in you motivate your relationships.
Your attraction for other things appears
to be your love for certain individuals. The young singer who sings exactly in
the style of Shri K. J. Yesudas, may be loved by many. If the singer sings in
his own style, will he be loved? (If his song is good, people will appreciate.
Eventually he also may be loved by many.) But those who loved this young singer
initially are really attracted to K. J Yesudas’ style of singing. That
particular attraction appeared as the love for the singer.
All relationships cannot apparently be
called Love. But all relationships are motivated by some interests of the
individual. In that sense all relationships have the elements of love in it. Late
J. Krishnamurti once defined life as “the movement in relationship.”
Countless shades of Love can be observed
and experienced in life. But when you search for what is the true Love, you
come to a conclusion that Love is “the feeling for the other person”. I
remember when my elder brother seriously hurt in an accident, I couldn’t hold
my tears. I was feeling for him. A mother might forget her safety in the
process of protecting her child. Forgetting yourself for the beloved is the
strongest evidence of the existence of love. More than that, love consists of
three behavioral qualities. To love somebody necessarily have these three
behavioral qualities. 1. Trust 2. Understanding 3. Acceptance.
When you love somebody, naturally the
distance with that person is decreased. Your tendency is to open your heart to
that person. No love is possible without trust. You trust your loved one and all
you have in your mind is naturally shared with that person. (In many occasions
you might trust a wrong person and experience the consequences!) Trust and openness
is the first feature of love. And when you love, you tend to understand the
other person. Because you are close to that person, and you have detailed knowledge
of the thought process of that person, you can understand the inner meaning of
the behavior of that person. When you love, you become more sympathetic to that
person, as a result of which you understand that person. This is the second
feature of your love. The third one is the tendency to justify your beloved.
You accept the one whom you love. You can easily take him as he is / accept her
as she is. If you have these three features, namely trust, understanding and
acceptance, in your behavior to someone, you can experience the hearty love with
that person.
All human beings have the possibility to
love; but all cannot experience this beautiful feeling. You need to have a
clean heart, if you want to relish the feeling of love. Harmless thoughts and
positive emotions need to be cultivated if you want to enjoy the joy of love.
Feeling sincerely for the other person is not easy in this world.
Observe
and Manage. (OM)
This
is the method.